The Light Horse Hotel will be the place to be for supporters of Rugby Union in Harden on Saturday Night

Forget about the current batch of Rugby Red Devils who boast an average age of 25. The older brigade have been mixing it up at training this week and forced the selection committee to choose many of them based on attendance, ability and bribery. 7 former players may take the field for the Devils ranging in age from 45 to 74.

Hugo Sachs, Polly Thurkettle, John Serong, Peter O’Connor, Andy Hufton, Matty Minehan and Mark ‘Mad Dog’ Douglass will be looking to turn out for the Devils this Saturday, after performing strongly for the Devils in pre-season trials. Age nor joint replacements have not wearied this group of enthusiastic Rugby players and they are determined to show the current generation, what it takes to play the game properly.

‘Mad Dog’ Douglass said “These young fellas these days, they think they can play Second Row with short hair. When I was playing in the 70s I had shoulder length hair which helped get in the opposition’s face and blind them. While they were blinded I would steal the ball and their boots.”

Hugo Sachs said “Harry has been coming home from training talking it up and I had to tell him straight. Son your not half the player your old man was.” Harry responded by telling Hugo he could only drink half the Sambucca he could and that he should stick to Dentistry.

Matty Minehan will no doubt scare the lads in the change room when old ‘Eeyore’ pulls the shorts up to his waste. Known for Stephen Larkham style skills and possessing a good length with his passing game, Minehan is over looking the fact he is on the wrong side of forty and should know better.

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George Cowden has quashed rumours of a return to the field on Saturday, however, ‘Eeeyore’ Minehan is a confirmed starter.

John Serong famously refereed a match at Robert’s Park in the 90s wearing a pair of Levi Jeans, after the appointed referee didn’t turn up. John said he is going to bring the same pair on Saturday and will be wearing them when he packs down at Flanker against Jindabyne.

Half-Back John Ryan is happy to give up his position to ‘old timer’ Peter O’Connor on Saturday. Ryan and elder statesman John Manchester will be mixing it up in the halves this season but said the side could do with Peter’s silky skills. “I wasn’t even born when Peter broke his nose in his 200th game but I have heard about his famous dive passing which hit his outside men, fair on the chest. Hopefully I can learn a thing or two on Saturday.”

Three generations of Thurkettles could line up in the one side on Saturday if Polly decides to hit the paddock with son Peter and grandsons Sam and Jack. What Polly has lost in speed he certainly makes up in treachery. Sam told the Twin Town Times “Granddad can still swing them pretty well. A couple of Christmas’ ago Jack and I were arguing and he laid us both out, I suppose he has plenty of strength in the shoulders after years of fencing, Polly is pretty handy with the Dolly, banging star pickets in.

Andy Hufton is looking to finally put the Janet Jackson/Michael Jackson rumours to bed. The farmer and former Fly Half has never been spotted in the same place as ABC political reporter Chris Uhlmann. Hufton will take the field whilst Uhlmann will stay at the bar for supporters to see they are two different people. The resemblance is uncanny!

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Chris Uhlmann or Andy Hufton, you decide?

I hope you have enjoyed our April 1 Rugby Sports Wrap, see you at Robert’s Park when a full strength side of 24 players lines up against the Jindabyne Bush Pigs. The Hawks follow at 4:15 and the Hawkettes at 5:30pm. Be there or be Square!