Scott Morrison emerging at Cunningar from the Canberra Tunnel, sporting a new helmet designed to stop the barrage and the noise.

Prepping (the practice of making active preparations for a possible catastrophic disaster or emergency, typically by stockpiling food, ammunition, and other supplies.) A secret underground tunnel is currently under construction that will lead from the nation’s most recognisable building, Parliament House, to just outside Harden at Cunningar.

The 130 kilometre structure will resurface in the small ‘prepping’ community to the east of the twin towns. The folks at Cunningar are assisting ASIO in a contractual consulting style model, which will see locals provide shipping containers, tunnelling skills, reinforcement of underground shafts and food storage for Australia’s politicians. With Job keeper coming to an end and an expectation of armageddon for the nation’s lowest paid workers and those needing government assistance to get by, the Feds are worried as to how it may pan out. They will use the surplus funds and push them sideways. Civilians and all other political parties will be excluded from using the new underground network.

However there may be some exceptions. Prime Minister Scott Morrison said, “The last 6 weeks have been really bad for us. I’ve been shooting myself in the foot with the Smith and Wesson 6 shooter Bob Katter gave me for Christmas last year. If we loose the majority in Parliament, Katter will be back for the revolver and a list a mile long. The roads in Kennedy in Far North Queensland will be paved in Gold. And, he will want a new hat and a spot in our subterranean bunkers. It’s time to get ourselves organised for the worst, which is yet to come.”

Cunningar resident ‘Spur’ Williams said. I didn’t know who he was when he rang me last Tuesday, but I’ve heard him a few times on the wireless. It’s good to see some investment in the region. I’ve been prospecting at Cunningar for over 60 years and last I heard, Bob Hawke was in power. That bloke could throw down a schooner. Don’t know how this fella goes, we will find out at the tavern on Jellambi Road I suppose, when he surfaces.” The Times contacted Morrison’s office to see where he would be putting the politicians who had recently taken leave. He said, “They aren’t invited, I had to fight just to get Jenny and my mother in. They are both wearing fake moustaches. Things are certainly getting dire.”

 Satire and Ready for April 1 Readers.