Harry Potter the famous Wizard from Hogwarts has put his hand up to take on Peter Dutton in a special battle to be aired on the ABC’s Q and A program titled, ‘Battle for our privacy’. If Dutton wins every Australian will be tracked via their phones in what is a paper-thin guise of hiding behind the Corona Virus as an excuse to pervert the privacy of millions of Australians.

The Gryffindor student said he has plenty of experience against opposition like Dutton. “I took old Voldemort on a number of Times and got the biccies in the final instalment. When it comes to blokes like Voldemort and Dutton I think I have him covered. It’s like how Malcolm Turnbull called Dutton’s leadership aspirations delusional. He was on the money. The big fella will be out his league with me.”

Turnbull admitted in his biography that he did not realise Dutton was contemplating a leadership challenge until it was too late when Turnbull was removed as Prime Minister. He said he felt it was an “absurd proposition”.

Turnbull said, “I didn’t imagine that Mathias Cormann was so deluded as to imagine that our political prospects would be advanced by a change of leadership, and especially to Dutton,” Turnbull said.

“And it never occurred to me, frankly, that so many people would support him.”

Dutton unhappy with Turnbull’s biography and scared stiff by the Q and A program and a 16 year old Wizard’s proposition, shot back at our reporter today.

He said, “Turnbull should have led the Labor Party not the Liberal Party, that was the problem.” Something young Potter agreed with. Dutton said, “You lot will have this thing on your bloody phones, we will know where you are going, what you are doing and who you are with. Have you seen Enemy of the State starring will Smith? Its a bit like that but 25 years later. That’s where I got the idea. No longer am I under the floorboards listening, we can listen to everything and record everything. There is nowhere to hide.”

Potter hosed down the 19 year parliamentry veteran and Minister for Home Affairs. “I hear Dutton’s Patronus is a wild dog from Angus Taylor’s property at Bombala. Mine is a 500 kilogram Sambar Stag called Kevin. Best of luck Peter, Expecto Patronum!”

This is a satirical story which is likely untrue