82 year old Murrumboola resident Bernie Buckman has told the Times that the Cops are ‘joking if they think I have 11 grand to spend on a fine’.
Buckman woke from a heavy Monday night and Tuesday morning last week to find his local watering hole closed. He said, “I haven’t got 11 bucks, I haven’t got two socks.”
Buckman had undertaken a punishing session at the local and the neighbouring park over the weekend before continuing his party into the early days of that week. He became disorientated when he was unable to open the door on any establishment in the twin towns that Tuesday afternoon and after being refused service at the local shopping centre, he was seen clambering in the back window of a licensed premises by two Senior Constables this morning.
Buckman was fined for being both drunk and disorderly, for break and enter and for bringing his two mates with him to the premises, which was in breach of the NSW State Government’s ‘2 person rule’.
Buckman resented the officers directions to cease and desist and was arrested. The 82 year old stated, “With you two boys in blue here with me, that makes 3 I think. You lot are under arrest.”
After failing to perform a successful citizens arrest on the officers, Buckman relented and was escorted or dragged to the paddy wagon. He was heard stating “this is democracy manifest, what is the charge, eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal? A mans not a camel.”
Buckman will be sentenced on April 1.
This is a satirical story which is unlikely true.
The Times encourages residents to follow the new laws set down by the State Government and follow directives by local police if necessary.
