Ben Coster is that good he can play with his eyes closed!

Another round of touch football matches in Murrumburrah was accompanied by the ominous build up of storm clouds to the west, but that didn’t stop players from turning out in droves.

The Binalong Boozers managed to stumble home without taking out any mailboxes or garbage bins, narrowly defeating Average Joes by one point. B. McGrath scored the only try for Average Joes, which happened to be the first of the game. Jess Howard and Dylan Arabin provided the points for the Boozers, earning them a 4-3 victory over Average Joes.

Got The Runs must have had a serious bout of it in their game against ABC Freighters, as they were only able to squeeze out two solid tries. Jeffrey Brown and Harry Forsyth pushed one each over the line, but it was not enough to stop the ABC Freighters juggernaut. Sam Woods scored two tries, and was joined by his brothers Gus and Connor in the try scoring. Cara Phillis and Tom Stewart scored the remaining tries to finish the game 12-5.

The Romani Wranglers’ pace and ball skills were too much for Hard Rock Gym 1, who conceded most of its points in the first few minutes of the game. Charlie Butt crossed thrice and Ben Coster twice, and some excellent ball skills put Jess Bunt, Lauren Daley and an elusive player known only by the number ‘2’ over for a try each. Hard Rock Gym did hit back, with tries to Jayden Nicholls, Stu Bradshaw, and some silly oaf called Matthew Malone, who was bludging out on the right wing. The scores finished at 17 points to 6.

It was yet another close match up in the game between the Electric Septics and Demondrille Merinos, with the three-point try proving the difference. Paddy Davis, Oliver Minehan and Hamish Minehan provided the tries for Demondrille, whilst Molly Spackman, Nathan Schofield and Brody Schofield crossed for the Electric Septics. But there were no dags on the Merinos this game, with Hamish Minehan’s first try giving them a 7 points to 6 win over the Electric Septics.

A wealth of reserves gave Hard Rock Gym 2 the upper hand over the GTH Hornets, who were unable to cross the try line during the match. Johnno Nicholls ran in four tries against the Hornets, with Joie Whybrow scoring a double and James Collins nabbing one of his own. The poor Hornets went down to Hard Rock 2 15 points to nil.

It was another battle for DPM Fitness in the ongoing war against carbohydrates, facing Jackson’s Bakery to avenge their loss to them last year. Dean McGrath and Chris Fredericks scored a try each for DPM Fitness, but it proved not enough to stem the onslaught of the bakers. Harrison Hadley scored the first try of the match for Jackson’s and was followed by Sam Whitehead who crossed three times, with Jamie Cantrill and the number ‘10’ crossing twice each. The score finished 17 points to 4 to Jackson’s Bakery, another decisive victory.

The Garangula Grizzlies were all over the Harden Pharmacy Red Devils like a bear to brunch, penetrating the Devils’ defence to run in three tries to one. John Hawkins scored both first and twice for the Grizzlies, and was accompanied in the scoring by Jack Fuller. Jessie Glover was the only try scorer for the Devils, who went down 7 points to 2.

A two-pronged assault by Ben Logue and Kyle Martin had the Young Guns misfiring. The Young Guns only managed the one try through Jakob Halls, with Ben and Kyle putting on two tries each. Hamish Martin followed with one of his own for an 11 points to 2 victory for the Originals.

Kennett Rural launched a blitzkrieg on the Carrington Crusaders through the try scoring efforts of James Daley and John Manchester. John scored both first and twice, with James following up with a troika of tries for himself. Josh Solah and Tom Grace’s tries were the cavalry charge on Kennett’s Panzer column, with the result being an 11 points to 4 annihilation.

There was no force in Delta as the Light Horseman obliterated them, with Emma James’ three tries leading the charge. Matt Murray and Sophie Hogan were right behind her with two tries each, followed by Riley Manwaring, Jock Ward and Sarah Murray. Delta could only manage two tries through Eliza Butt and Simon Doolan, but the result was still a 21 points to 4 trampling.

Johnno’s Painting whitewashed the Bindon Bruisers, running in six tries to two. Lane Gaudie’s two tries attempted to apply the metho to Johnno’s, but the painters just kept coming. Damian Prosser crossed twice, followed by Daniel Clarke, Chris Johnson and Brendan Ford with a try each. It was a good licking indeed, with the scores finishing 13-4 to Johnno’s Painting.

The sheer pace of the fastest mullet in the Harden Shire wasn’t enough to defeat Robert Scott Electrical, who won their match against the Jugiong Jackasses 7 points to 4. Lui Polimeni scored the Jugiong Jackasses only two tries, but the momentum was firmly in Robert Scott’s favour, with tries to Ryan Daley, Kai Steele and Caleb Madden.

Four tries to the Binalong Bangers were enough to carve out a win over Thompsons Rural, who could only manage half that number. S. Doohan and Maddie Emms were the lone try scorers for Thompsons, poking a couple of holes into the Bangers. All that did was get the Bangers spitting, and they ran in four tries courtesy of Josh Sykes, Luke Oldfield, George Elliot and Max Giles. The game finished with a convincing 9 points to 4 victory to the Bangers.

There was yet another one-point victory in the game between Smashing Cherries and Twomeys Wii Not Fit, with Sue Smith, Keith Smith and Ros Bradford crossing for the latter. But it was Smashing Cherries who popped out the win, with tries to Ben Percival, Mark Parker, Phil Robinson and Jarrod Keelan. The game finished 8 points to 7 to Smashing Cherries.

There were a couple of fits on ground 5, but thankfully, there were no frothing mouths or convulsions. Chris and Kim Hocking crossed the line twice and once respectively for Hard’n’Fit, but those tries fell short against Fit’n’Well, who was led by possibly the fastest teacher in the Catholic school system. Mr Ian Mergard ran in four tries, including the first of the game, and was ably assisted in the scoring by Bayley Minson. The game finished in Fit’n’Well’s favour, 11 points to 6.

There was a marked improvement in the filling out of the scoresheets this week. Thus, everyone has been spared a treatise on handwriting. Thank you. Please keep up the good work, and we will keep the double entendres coming. 😉

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